Quidditch, Dog Doo Treats, Snape, and Hospitals
by PotterGirl14
Summary: Snape fall down a lot. Just read, okay? I think it's pretty funny.


Quidditch, Dog doo treats, Snape, and Hospitals

Story Summary:

Snape falls down an awful lot

Oliver Wood: This is the best team Gryffindor's had in MILLENIUMS!

We're gonna win, win, win, win all the way to the Quidditch Cup!!

Harry: But this is only our first practice.

George: Let's get this practice over with so me and Fred can let

off some fillibuster fireworks in Snape's office.

Fred: And then me and George can escape using the Marauder's Map,

and then buy some dog doo treats at Honeydukes in Hogsmeade

underneath the Unusual Tastes sign.

George: I don't know why they put them there, though. They're so good.

Lee Jordan: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, LET'S GET

READY TO, hold on, wait that's the wrong one! I mean, um, mount your broomsticks and practice, practice, practice!

(The team begins to practice with Snape's dolls, teddy bears, flowers, and his treasured golden lunchbox)

About five minutes later, Snape enters and gets hits on the head with his dolls and falls over.

Professor McGonagall: I hate to do this but, Healous Totolus.

Snape: What are you doing with my teddy bears and my dollies?

Angelina: McGonagall enchanted them because we couldn't find the

Bludgers and the Quaffle, and we stole your golden lunchbox to use as a Snitch.

Snape: You WHAT...

(Snape's lunchbox hits him on the head and falls down…again)

McGonagall: Okay, practice is over. We have to take this pile of filth and sinister disgustingness back to the castle where he belongs, in

the dungeon, or he might die. Oh, what a pity.

George: Oh darn, we can't let off fillibuster fireworks now, but we

can still let off Dungbombs to destroy his classroom.

McGonagall: Wingardium Leviosa! 

(Snape is levitated and leaves the field. The Gryffindors follow.)

A few months later the Gryffindor team has a meeting in McGonagall's classroom.

McGonagall: I'm very proud of you for winning your first Quidditch

match of the season against Ravenclaw. And I'm especially proud when you beamed Snape in the head with those bludgers. Way to go!

Harry: So why do you want us here?

McGonagall: Snape's still in the hospital and we can play another trick

on him. And we can play a trick on Professor Trelawney. She's in the

hospital because she tried to kill herself when she saw the Grim.

Oliver Wood: We'll give Professor Trelawney some dog doo treat and put

them in a chocolate box.

Fred: Oh, no, dog doo treats are too good, too rare to use to play a

trick on someone!

Oliver Wood: I'm sure you can spare a couple. I know you have a secret

stash of 500 million dog doo treats behind the statue of Godric

Gryffindor and a lion.

George: Well, okay. I'll give you two.

Harry: And I'll get Hermione to enchant some flowers to smell like

daisies, so Snape sneezes out a window. (A/N: in my fic, Snape is allergic to daisies)

Suddenly Snape walks in the room and curtsies to the class.

Harry: SNAPE!?

Snape: Ah, what a lovely day it is!

McGonagall: We'd better get him back up to the hospital. The things

medicine does to you these days...

McGonagall: Wingardium Leviosa.

(Snape is levitated, leaves the room and the Gryffindors follow.)

McGonagall and Harry visit the hospital wing with a box of dog doo treats and daisies. 

Harry: Here Professor Trelawney. You're my favorite teacher.

(Hands Trelawney the dog doo treats.)

Professor Trelawney: I'm sorry dear, but you have the shortest lifeline on your palm I've ever seen!

(McGonagall approaches Snape)

McGonagall: Here are some flowers for my favorite former student.

Snape: You finally appreciate me!

(Snape takes the daisies and sneezes out the window)

THE END!!!!!!!!!!

A/N: I know it's a weird ending. If anything sounds strange, it's because it was originally a play made on the American Girls Premiere. If you see any weird characters, it's because of that. This was created my friend and I.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. My friend and I own dog doo treats. (I don't care how disgusting they sound) Snape owns his teddy bears, dolls, flowers golden flowers, and dungeon. McGonagall owns her classroom. 


End file.
